Miercuri, Martie 4, 2009, 04:38 AM 

10 Steps guide to success for some Indians
     media: 0.00 din 0 voturi

This 10 steps guide is made for the sole use of the waiters of the Sitar restaurant. To avoid any confusion due to numerous restaurants with the same name in the world, I refer to the one in the picture below. However, the steps from 1 to 5 might be helpful as well for other people with similar origins.
1. Perhaps the most important element of the universe is the water. This resource is not that limited as you might think, so feel free to use it, at least two times a day, combined with a soap, shampoo or shower gel. Don’t assume your stench will kill any virus, scientists have proven that an elementary hygiene does actually help the state of health. Use deodorants and anti-perspirants, this will allow us to have a normal conversation with yourselves even if there is no open window near-by.

2. If we’re talking about the bathroom, well, let’s see what a bathroom must have. Well, in the first place it should have a water closet, abbreviated as W.C. Actually; there should be more of these, even if you don’t really use them. If you’re expecting many guests, like a group of 20 boys you should consider at least 4 closed cabins, you cannot expect them to take a pooh on the street. Put a mirror, a wash-hand basin, a soap and towel. Even if we talk about the hut that you foolishly call a Sitar restaurant, Indian traditional objects do not fit here especially if they’re fragile. However, if they break don’t blame the customers

3. One important item that your own bathroom should have is the tooth brush. Use it three times a day with good toothpaste and roll it throughout your mouth. Help with Tic Tac or Orbit pills and we might be able to talk to you not only by the phone. Use a hair brush as well from time to time. Remember that you have hair on your scalp not a TV aerial.

4. Stick to the mouth. ..You should be careful about the words that come out of it. Start with something easy, like words from 3 to 6 letters. Try thanks, welcome, help or hi or bye. You can then make some progresses like How can I help you?, or Welcome to Sitar or Enjoy your meal . Whatever you do, don’t ever mention the word fuck. It’ only me who’ll use this word each time I’ll see your silly faces.

5. As mentioned already on point 1, don’t assume. Assuming it’s too complex for your mind. It might blow! As a good friend says, Never assume Always ask. If someone is sick, try to help. Humans evolved in Europe. We don’t live in the jungle anymore here. One animal hurt, one animal down does not apply to your customers.

6. If the fate made a joke and you run a restaurant, try at least to classify the food on your dirty menus. Tikki, Samosas, Pakora, Korma..all this crap means nothing for the most of us. Just some silly junk food. That’it, get it once! There is no way you can place a sweet meal on the same page with a very spicy one. You might want to follow though the Thai’s approach classifying your junk food with 1,2 or 3 chilli peppers. Doing this, you will avoid the long queues to the toilets.

7. There is no ad on your logo saying CRAP. Hence, you might consider introducing some European/ regular food for occasional customers… like a beef steak . I will volunteer as a butcher, if you allow me to do it in the middle of your so-called restaurant. There are many coming just because their friends want to. Consequently a broader range of choices than a bowl of chips might be a good idea.

8. Just remember not all the customers work for Animal Planet TV. Consequently, they don’t know how to deal with chimpanzees. They really think they have a human in front of them, so don’t act like a primate. Golden rule: Don’t yell! You might impress your ape female by doing so, but you won’t get anything than repulsion from your customers.

9. Once you got us poisoned, it’s time to do the bill. Well, that’s tricky. Don’t lose your head and add items one by one. Buy a calculator and type all items’ prices separated by a ‘+’ sign. In the end press ‘=’ key. Add only what we had, don’t include your own dinner and your own dreams on the bill. Once done, wait for your visitors to pay it. If you have a difference, try to settle it with calm. They might be accountants, for God’s sake!

10. If you evolve and you pay money for a website advertising your hut, make sure you have only what you can handle. There’s no point of buying books if you can’t read. There’s no point in having a feedback form on your site if you don’t reply to it. After all, you don’t care of our feedback at all, so why pretending it?

Luni, Februarie 18, 2008, 06:01 AM 

Leave the gospel out of Eurovision
     media: 3.50 din 2 voturi

After a Saturday full of karting, bowling, pool, beers and rum, I barely opened my eyes on Sunday. I opened my computer to see my list of week-end work duties and I browsed the TVR’s site for the latest news. Guess what? Do you know the first 2 bands in the Saturday’s semifinal of Romanian Eurovision?

Well, the second is Paula Seling and Provincialii with a love song called Seven Days

http://www2.tvr.ro/eurovision/bmedia/?id=524

And the first is also a thing that they foolishly called love song and you may find that thing here:

http://www2.tvr.ro/eurovision/bmedia/?id=525

Well? Who the ... are them? Nobody knows. As one of the Swedish bloggers said, I don’t know anyone here in Sweden that knows anything about Biondo but everybody knows about Måns Zelmerlöw, who wrote Biondo’s song “Shine”. He’s a very popular singer here. Apparently, a kind of Swedish Moga, wrote a common song in one night (actually, it’s about a couple of hours, I’m sure he made it in a shorter time that I wrote this post) and started to search for someone to sing it.

He founded easily two guys that he probably recruited on Sunday morning, when they showed up at his door, trying to teach him the God’s word in the US gospel style . They fitted perfectly the song but Mans thought that a stronger voice would be also needed. The long-hair guy tried to convince his gospel priests from the States but they couldn’t make it to Sweden. So the little genius considered to borrow an opera singer, like Mattias Nilson. The opera singer happily accepted, as this was his only chance to visit Belgrad without paying the trip

Their next step was to register for the national contest for Eurovision. They knew that their simple presence on the Belgrad stage will secure them 12 points from Norway, Finland, Island and Denmark. However, this scheme that assured them many successes in the 80's was seriously threaten in the last year by the former communist bloc which was now more numerous. So, Mans the genius had another glamorous idea: why couldn’t they compete for an Eastern European country?

They found out that the legendary group Rednex will compete for the second time in Romania. They thought that it would be a good idea to share the same plane with Rednex and even with another hot top-blonde naturally Swedish girl called LaGaylia Fraiziers. They could even spread the gospel’s song in Bucharest!

Finally, the three smart guys figured that they also need a name. They found that Romanian girls like Swedish blonde guys so they thought that they could kid them somehow. Unfortunately, they couldn’t name the band Blondie because it was already taken. They were convinced that our language is Italian so they called it Biondo.

After all, the magic night of 16 February arrived. Iuliana Marciuc is introducing the trio. Well, what a surprise! My tears for Cristina and the long work hours damaged my eyes and I desperately need some glasses! I cannot see the third singer! There are only two guys in my eye contact area! I go closer to the laptop’s display and this time I can clearly see their faces but I still see only two of them! Well, I guess that Jan stayed home to continue his Sunday preaches

And the gospel nightmare for everyone’s ears began. The rhytm-less song was quite ordinary until the end.

The song started with an 80’s intro, with nothing special. I had the feeling that I was going to listen that 80’s song from Music and lyrics soundtrack. I was almost gonna fall asleep when they foolishly opened their mouths.

That meant that they’re gonna start the first verse, which was something ordinary. Lars Säfsund, who calls himself a musical artist, began a monotone psalm meaning nothing to remember after the song. He used the same old obsolete metaphors with the ocean and the waves that are extremely common and quite childish after all. Mans probably considered it the secret weapon.

I felt my nose in pains, meaning that the singers started the chorus. This was quite scary, this was a real gospel song from US churches. The theme was completely religious, ‘Shi-i-i-i-i-ine.... and I will never fall out of lo-o-o-o-o-ve’. Come on, this is not an ode to God! God does not need Eurovision in order to feel Biondo’ love. Us, neither.

Biondo tried also a second verse, but this was even more religious appealing to angels, heaven, nothing but love. Before the final part, the long-hair guy takes a homo-erotic look on the other one, saying some “deep words” like “tomorrow’s here, I have no fear”. ?!!?? Well, I guess we’re the ones quite frightened by his potential representation of Romania to Eurovision.

The end is really scary, it is not at all pop music, it really scratches my tympanum, so don’t try this at home, especially you’re alone Anyway, blood is running out of my nose after this scary video. I will try to avoid them next week-end, otherwise I will need medical assistance.

Well, switching to the song of Paula Seling and Provincialii, I cannot say many things, it is not a masterpiece but it is still a love song. It is more modern, it has often changes of rhythm and it’s quite impossible not to remember the lyric Seven days, seven nights, seven days of making love till reach the sky.

The chorus is also focused on something reasonable like Baby you should know, if our love will die, we will not forget seven days and seven nights. It sounds fair to me, especially I know I will not forget Cristina. After all, from a statistical point of view, it is more probable that a love affair will die rather than keeping the flame until Death, so why won’t you consider this? Please note that this song has no immature, obsolete and boring words like always, never, till Death etc.

So, guys, if you live in Romania and if you have phones, text for Seven Days and send the priests back to Sweden (rather to Utah, after all) to preach their gospel songs.

Luni, Decembrie 17, 2007, 05:54 AM 

Kiss and leave
     media: 0.00 din 0 voturi

I’m coming from one night out in the pubs after Xmas Party and I’m sober enough to write a coherent post and also drunk enough to tell things a guy won’t usually tell. I think I had a deja-vu tonight. One year ago, I thought my life is over. Today I have seen my life as a spectator.

The facts are easy to follow, it’s like a cliché. It’s Saturday night and the colleagues from an ordinary multinational party in the night club after their boring, old and classical Xmas Party. Atmosphere gets hot on the dance floor. Suddenly, a boy and a girl, apparently buddies for the 2 years since they joined our Company, start kissing passionately. It’s their first kiss and they seem so in love. When I left the dance floor for a new rum & coke, they were still hugging.

When I was back, I saw only Matt dancing with other girls. I could not find Sara. A few moments later, I saw her sitting at the 1st floor, watching the show. She was sighing and she had tears in her eyes. She was walking her hand through her hair, unable to believe what it’s happening to her. She disappeared quickly with a big hole in her heart hoping that that the short cocktail of ecstasy and agony was just a dream.

Unfortunately, it was not a dream. It’s the reality of the new millennium. ‘Kiss and leave’ seems to be the most challenging contest ever for some heart breakers. It’s a global game, with world coverage higher than Big Brother and Who wants to be a millionaire . Anyone can play, regardless the country, age, sex, looking or profession. It has a sound format, clear steps and rules, and only one winner.

Rules are easy. Firstly, you should choose an environment where you spend most part of your life. If you have a busy work life, you should start your hunting from there. You will spend an average of 10 to 12 hours in the office and you’ll often get out with your colleagues, either at corporate parties, either on friendly night-outs.

As I told you, country and sex do not matter. We talk about the same Company, but it’s happening both in Romanian subsidiary and in the small office from the island I’m working now. In the case above, the hunter is a male, but in my nightmare the equivalent of Matt is Cristina. In my case, she was a professional hunter, being in her third big corporation she was working for.

The second rule is to choose a victim and to create a fake image of being buddies. Actually, Cristina failed to do this, which caused lack of credibility in the later stages. We have never been friends!!! In the same time, you keep flirting and you start making the victim fall madly in love with you. Anyway, you should be careful to keep the appearances of being buddies. This second stage is the most important and you should make it as long as possible. The longer it is, more points you score. You can play it simultaneously with more hearts.

Now here comes the most important part. You let it go suddenly and unexpectedly and you start kissing the other. You let the other think that the real love really exists. It doesn’t matter where it happens. It may be in the club, like in the situation above or it can be in my car after driving her home. It doesn’t matter, but it is important to let the other think that this is the beginning of the most beautiful and romantic love ever. Finally, you find a way out, like Cristina’s excuse to go home early to iron a dress that she’ll wear the next day at an imaginary friend’s wedding. I don’t know Matt’s excuse, I was out for a new refill of my glass.

And .... of course, the most enjoyable part comes in the end. It is called like the most recent episode of Prison Break: Bang and burn. Of course, you have to burn the other one’s hart until it is destroyed. Cristina invented an unexpected leave of her best friend in Italy as an excuse of not meeting me. I don’t know how many points did she score as the artistic impression of the lies does matter a lot here and she was not very original.

Of course, you should justify to the others that the relationship was purely buddy to buddy. Matt will probably blame on the booze for the public kiss. He’ll say You know you’re friends... Cristina scored many points, as it happened in one private car, so she has no witnesses. She eventually categorized all our dates as friendly, even nobody could confirm our relationship as friendship (low score, here).

In the end, it doesn’t really matter. They have their stories to tell to other jerks. They are in a big hurry to start the game again and find another victim. They won’t care about your feelings, your hopes, your dreams, your emotional traumas caused by them. They should keep training while they’re still young for the ‘Kiss and leave’ World Cup. Maybe one day, they will be champions. Good luck, Matt, bafta Cristina!

Sambata, Decembrie 1, 2007, 05:37 AM 

Happy birthday, my dear Romania
     media: 0.00 din 0 voturi

Hi, Romania! Congratulations for your 89th anniversary! 50 days ago I had my anniversary, too. I’m 28 years old now! The difference is that I am a looser, as I said many times before. While you... Well, I do not know what to say...

I guess you were not happy, too, at 28 years old. How could you feel other than miserable in 1946? You know, we gotta have somethin’ in common. We both LOST an important WAR, at the same age, 27. There are similarities in our lives.

We both pretend that our first 23 years were happy. Romania was a name in Europe before the WW2. There were sometimes unpleasant things, like the strike from ’33. I had also my injuries, in my student years. But we pretend we were well, after all.

After my 23rd anniversary, I met her: The SHREW. It was the shrew that you can meet in every corporation, the one that spits flame on the nose. You met also him: The first DICTATOR (Carol II), the one spitting not only flames, but even your future. We both moved on and managed to tame them.

We both had a Hitler in our lives. Your Hitler was powerful, with a short moustache, brown tunic and a red swastika on the sleeve. You wouldn’t recognize my Hitler after clothes, face or constitution. You will rather recognize him after its easiness to sit at the table, couch its head on the right and ask: Mr. Corporatistu, when will you deliver....? Will it be into dead-line agreed as....?

The corporations ruining lives and nerves were present in both of our lives. The episode Every day a little death from Desperate Housewives was a reality in my corporate environment in the last 3 years (Rest In Peace Tim, Laura and Raluca). My nerves were destroyed by an avid for sales Co, a Zoo garden-like Co and a Nazy Co. The red soviet spot also ruined your destiny and destroyed many lives of innocent people.

The licking senior? Does it sound familiar? How can I forget his pathetic flatteries? Once he saw me doing my timesheet in the Excel template. He came from my back and whispered: I can help you with an excel template having all the activity codes in a list cell. But....of course there was a “but”.. he provides it to me only if I give him a document translated by me!!! Well, I guess you know the attitude... maybe it reminds you of the lousy liar Emil Constantinescu . I guess it’s hard to remember how many times he kissed IMF’s asses for some money with a huge interest pay-back.

You experienced some dictators also. Probably the most ferocious was Nicolae Ceausescu . Even my workmates from Africa heard of him. I met also a fucking dictator surnamed by me the smarty from IT. His unique goal was to act as he was the owner of the massive corporation. Obviously, he was nothing, he was just a dickhead destroying the project and resources of the company.

Let’s go to the masters of the baffle gab (limbaj de lemn). I was the unlucky winner of the chance to meet one of the most red tape persons in the world: red tape bookkeeper (contabila contopista). She could not tell a word without opening her white book with accounting records published by the Ministry of Finance in the autumn of 1907. I guess you know better what I say, you were ruled by one master of the baffle gab. I will not mention his name, I will say only that he is also a recent blogger.

We both believed in promises. I was fooled by The Love from Tei (aka ‘CSI’ or Lucy). Not once, countless times. You were fooled not by one, but by 322 unscrupulous citizens that were mocking other 22 millions people. They were ruled by the liar king in person.

Finally, my post is coming to an end, so you know the person I’ll gonna talk about in this paragraph. Let’s say I never that in December I will sit on the shore throwing two stones in the ocean. There were two stones representing two years from my life lost in vain for the sake of the one known as Spotless Girl, la otra or just Christina. I don’t know how many stones should you throw in the Black Sea for all the times you were betrayed. Countless, probably.

I guess that’s all. Sorry that I couldn’t attend the referendum. It is just impossible to go to London (the closest vote section) and come back to the island in the same day. It seems that the corrupt government made sure that there are no alternatives methods of voting (such as e-vote) for the Romanians abroad. They knew that we’ll all vote for their enemies.

Sorry for tragedy that shadowed Romania’s football team qualification at Euro 2008. I am stunned that the station of the communist informer Felix got the tv copyrights for the national football team matches for the next qualifying campaign. I have already spoken with a local satellite provider to have installed a digital service allowing me to watch TF1, ORF and the Serbian TV in order to watch Romania’s football games. Of course, I could never watch that dirty communist television.

Sorry I’m not there with you at your celebration. Let’s hope we will get rid of past if we want to have a future. I was supposed to have a peaceful life, a stable job and two kids (Andre and Christina). You were supposed to be one of the most appreciated countries in Europe whose citizens have no reason to leave it. We have too little. We have almost nothing.

Maybe one day the shadows of the past (smarty from IT, the dictator, Lucy, 322, Christina) won’t hunt us anymore!

Meanwhile, Happy Birthday to you, my beloved country!

Luni, Septembrie 3, 2007, 02:37 PM 

Raluca, always in our hearts
     media: 5.00 din 2 voturi

Today is the first working day in the autumn. For most of us, it should be a relaxing day after some well-deserved weeks of holiday in the summer. For Raluca Stroescu , things weren’t so obvious in the latest years. The terms ‘holiday’, ‘weekend’, “Christmas’ had a different meaning for her. According to an article published by EVZ, Raluca managed to escape from work and to arrive to the place where her friends celebrated New Year’s Eve close to midnight but she returned back to work at 5AM.

The day of 3 September 2007 should have been special for Raluca. It was supposed to be her first day in the Luxembourg practice of the multinational audit Company she was working for. It was supposed to be the beginning of a working program that ends in the evening rather than at midnight. It was supposed to be the start of free Saturdays. It was supposed to be the regaining of the normal, happy life she used to have.

Today was supposed to be the day when a new chapter in her life begins. Unfortunately, today is eternity for Raluca. Life had not enough patience for her to let her leave in Luxembourg. On 20 April, at 5:52 PM she had the last phone conversation with one of her colleagues. 28 minutes later she could not answer again. It was a Luxembourg call. How much she wished to answer it!

Four days later, a former colleague published on her blog an article called “Why is there so much pain???” I will quote her: Why do we work, hate, get mad when life is so short? How is it possible that a 30 years old human die alone with nobody close to her, with her only concern being work after work..... Where are the little pleasures and joys that make bright up your life and make you go on??? You cannot imagine how it feels when this happens to the person whom you’ve worked to so much.... I was close to end the same way, it was impossible not to be touched, I am not so powerful not to....If you know what it is all about...

Well, these are beautiful words but are ... only words. Three hours later she found “enough strength” to post another entry called “Perhaps such a tragedy won’t happen again”. So, I’ll just quote her again: My dears, I know that we cannot do anything for Raluca but we should act for those who work in the same manner and also for the employers taking advantage of the people. In this respect, I discussed the issue with Mediafax (the news agency) and now they’re working on an investigation. They are after CMU but also after the employer.

Six hours later, the video below was on the news.



It was a decent video, but it was also a source of speculations. And after that, the chain of agony for her beloved ones was longer and longer due to the press. The news, the blogs, the papers were full of lies like: She was a money grabber!, She knew nothing but promotions!, She was obsessed with work! Etc.

Well, you journalists, bloggers, social analysts and you, the former colleague with the blog quoted above, you knew NOTHING about Raluca! You didn’t even try to get to know her. One of my friends has a word: Never assume, always ask! Well, I guess this doesn’t work for you. Higher TV rating, more newspapers sold, higher number of unique IPs per day, this is what it really matters to you!

What about you, the one that worked more than 16 hours/day next to her? The one that wrote the two posts above? Do you think that working together makes you know her? How can you be so sure that she was lonesome? What do you know about her friends anyway? Do you know that she had the same friends for more than 12 years? What do you know about her hobbies, about her karate and French lessons she had recently? What do you know about her time and passion spent on furnishing her own apartment? Do you know the name of the cats she’s holding in her arms in the picture above? Do you have any idea how many cats were living with her?

Raluca was not the robot from the story that the press invented to sell their magazines. The comment from ProTV website is true. Raluca was a special person who had only one weakness: she didn’t know to say NO. Perhaps it’s time to get to know her better. There is one website about Raluca that her family created in her memory. And this site is..

www.friendster.com/ralucastroescu

You will find there more pictures about the joyful and happy girl that Raluca Stroescu was. Maybe you will not find the same detailed information that you used to find in the news. Maybe the emptiness in the souls of her family and friends cannot be filled as quickly as the thirsty of the journalists for the ratings. Maybe it will take a while to post all the pictures with her. And there are a lot of.

I am aware that I didn’t know either to get to know Raluca. I don’t think there are many who did. I just know that I miss her. I know that it is hard for me to know that today I will not receive the usual ‘New contacts’ mail from her. Maybe it is our duty to share the good memories about her on the website mentioned above. It is our duty to keep her image clean and undistorted from the bad things written lately. This site is for you, Raluca! You know that we will always keep you alive in our hearts!

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