Luni, Februarie 18, 2008, 06:01 AM 

Leave the gospel out of Eurovision
     media: 3.50 din 2 voturi

After a Saturday full of karting, bowling, pool, beers and rum, I barely opened my eyes on Sunday. I opened my computer to see my list of week-end work duties and I browsed the TVR’s site for the latest news. Guess what? Do you know the first 2 bands in the Saturday’s semifinal of Romanian Eurovision?

Well, the second is Paula Seling and Provincialii with a love song called Seven Days

http://www2.tvr.ro/eurovision/bmedia/?id=524

And the first is also a thing that they foolishly called love song and you may find that thing here:

http://www2.tvr.ro/eurovision/bmedia/?id=525

Well? Who the ... are them? Nobody knows. As one of the Swedish bloggers said, I don’t know anyone here in Sweden that knows anything about Biondo but everybody knows about Måns Zelmerlöw, who wrote Biondo’s song “Shine”. He’s a very popular singer here. Apparently, a kind of Swedish Moga, wrote a common song in one night (actually, it’s about a couple of hours, I’m sure he made it in a shorter time that I wrote this post) and started to search for someone to sing it.

He founded easily two guys that he probably recruited on Sunday morning, when they showed up at his door, trying to teach him the God’s word in the US gospel style . They fitted perfectly the song but Mans thought that a stronger voice would be also needed. The long-hair guy tried to convince his gospel priests from the States but they couldn’t make it to Sweden. So the little genius considered to borrow an opera singer, like Mattias Nilson. The opera singer happily accepted, as this was his only chance to visit Belgrad without paying the trip

Their next step was to register for the national contest for Eurovision. They knew that their simple presence on the Belgrad stage will secure them 12 points from Norway, Finland, Island and Denmark. However, this scheme that assured them many successes in the 80's was seriously threaten in the last year by the former communist bloc which was now more numerous. So, Mans the genius had another glamorous idea: why couldn’t they compete for an Eastern European country?

They found out that the legendary group Rednex will compete for the second time in Romania. They thought that it would be a good idea to share the same plane with Rednex and even with another hot top-blonde naturally Swedish girl called LaGaylia Fraiziers. They could even spread the gospel’s song in Bucharest!

Finally, the three smart guys figured that they also need a name. They found that Romanian girls like Swedish blonde guys so they thought that they could kid them somehow. Unfortunately, they couldn’t name the band Blondie because it was already taken. They were convinced that our language is Italian so they called it Biondo.

After all, the magic night of 16 February arrived. Iuliana Marciuc is introducing the trio. Well, what a surprise! My tears for Cristina and the long work hours damaged my eyes and I desperately need some glasses! I cannot see the third singer! There are only two guys in my eye contact area! I go closer to the laptop’s display and this time I can clearly see their faces but I still see only two of them! Well, I guess that Jan stayed home to continue his Sunday preaches

And the gospel nightmare for everyone’s ears began. The rhytm-less song was quite ordinary until the end.

The song started with an 80’s intro, with nothing special. I had the feeling that I was going to listen that 80’s song from Music and lyrics soundtrack. I was almost gonna fall asleep when they foolishly opened their mouths.

That meant that they’re gonna start the first verse, which was something ordinary. Lars Säfsund, who calls himself a musical artist, began a monotone psalm meaning nothing to remember after the song. He used the same old obsolete metaphors with the ocean and the waves that are extremely common and quite childish after all. Mans probably considered it the secret weapon.

I felt my nose in pains, meaning that the singers started the chorus. This was quite scary, this was a real gospel song from US churches. The theme was completely religious, ‘Shi-i-i-i-i-ine.... and I will never fall out of lo-o-o-o-o-ve’. Come on, this is not an ode to God! God does not need Eurovision in order to feel Biondo’ love. Us, neither.

Biondo tried also a second verse, but this was even more religious appealing to angels, heaven, nothing but love. Before the final part, the long-hair guy takes a homo-erotic look on the other one, saying some “deep words” like “tomorrow’s here, I have no fear”. ?!!?? Well, I guess we’re the ones quite frightened by his potential representation of Romania to Eurovision.

The end is really scary, it is not at all pop music, it really scratches my tympanum, so don’t try this at home, especially you’re alone Anyway, blood is running out of my nose after this scary video. I will try to avoid them next week-end, otherwise I will need medical assistance.

Well, switching to the song of Paula Seling and Provincialii, I cannot say many things, it is not a masterpiece but it is still a love song. It is more modern, it has often changes of rhythm and it’s quite impossible not to remember the lyric Seven days, seven nights, seven days of making love till reach the sky.

The chorus is also focused on something reasonable like Baby you should know, if our love will die, we will not forget seven days and seven nights. It sounds fair to me, especially I know I will not forget Cristina. After all, from a statistical point of view, it is more probable that a love affair will die rather than keeping the flame until Death, so why won’t you consider this? Please note that this song has no immature, obsolete and boring words like always, never, till Death etc.

So, guys, if you live in Romania and if you have phones, text for Seven Days and send the priests back to Sweden (rather to Utah, after all) to preach their gospel songs.


Comentarii

  1. seb

    articol prost, cinic, de doi bani...! din partea unuia care, banuiesc, e total pe dinafara, si care nu are decat un singura talent: acela de a pierde timpul in fata ordinatorului. Pe scurt, PENIBIL! sau JALNIC! (cum doresti...)

  2. Amy

    @Seb - cred ca nu ai inteles conceptul de blog PERSONAL. De asta-ti faci un blog, ca sa poti sa iti expui parerile TALE. Daca ai alte pareri re: Eurovision, asteptam cu nerabdare sa le vedem pe blogul TAU.

    @unique2 - totusi nu mi s-au parut chiar asa nashpa baietii aia...:) however the name of the band gives me the creeps...

  3. Bad

    Please check your English grammar book and tell me if it's right to use future tense in the conditional construction. "IF OUR LOVE WILL DIE": so beautifully sung and so badly scratching my ears! You want to send them to Belgrad? So the entire Europe could laugh at us... Stop them! Catalin rules!

  4. Amy

    @bad - FYI - yes, you can use "if...will..." constructions - atunci cand will are sensul de "a voi"... dar suntem de acord ca nu poti sa spui "IF OUR LOVE WILL DIE". :)

  5. Amy

    @unique 2 - cat mai am pana devin comentatoarea ta nr. 1? :)
    tschuess aus deutschland

  6. unique2

    @Amy: stai linistita, esti deja :)
    Deja faci si revizia altor comentarii, eu intru ca parteneru' si dau sign-off as reviewer :d
    @bad si Amy: corect, constructia de fata nu prea se incadreaza la willingness, sa speram ca se rezolva cumva. Dar oricum nu sunt de acord ca (citez din clasici :) ) Dar sunt falsi! Vocea e OK,Paula, jos palaria. Dar interpretarea nu transmite nici un mesaj! Pacat de voce...

  7. uana

    daca chiar vrei sa stii biondo ca formatie nu exista. numele a fost ales doar pt eurovision. solistul ,lars, are formatie care tocmai a scos un album. formatia e work of art : http://www.melodicrock.com/showcase/workofart-artwork.html

  8. melania

    you're right about 7 days&7nights, I liked it too... but Shine is something else... it gives me the chills - the right kind of chills... and I think that it's pretty darn lucky for us to have the 12 points from the entire Northern - North-Western Europe... don't you? Moldova always puts us third, after russia and ukraine... as if they were not romanian at all

  9. unique2

    @Melania - No, I don't think that. They are not promoted and not popular in Northern Europe. I don't think nordics will notice they are from Sweden. Anyway, they will give 12, 10, 8,7,6 points to Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Island, Finland etc., not to Romania.
    Anyway, it doesn't really matter anymore


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