Luni, Decembrie 17, 2007, 05:54 AM 

Kiss and leave
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I’m coming from one night out in the pubs after Xmas Party and I’m sober enough to write a coherent post and also drunk enough to tell things a guy won’t usually tell. I think I had a deja-vu tonight. One year ago, I thought my life is over. Today I have seen my life as a spectator.

The facts are easy to follow, it’s like a cliché. It’s Saturday night and the colleagues from an ordinary multinational party in the night club after their boring, old and classical Xmas Party. Atmosphere gets hot on the dance floor. Suddenly, a boy and a girl, apparently buddies for the 2 years since they joined our Company, start kissing passionately. It’s their first kiss and they seem so in love. When I left the dance floor for a new rum & coke, they were still hugging.

When I was back, I saw only Matt dancing with other girls. I could not find Sara. A few moments later, I saw her sitting at the 1st floor, watching the show. She was sighing and she had tears in her eyes. She was walking her hand through her hair, unable to believe what it’s happening to her. She disappeared quickly with a big hole in her heart hoping that that the short cocktail of ecstasy and agony was just a dream.

Unfortunately, it was not a dream. It’s the reality of the new millennium. ‘Kiss and leave’ seems to be the most challenging contest ever for some heart breakers. It’s a global game, with world coverage higher than Big Brother and Who wants to be a millionaire . Anyone can play, regardless the country, age, sex, looking or profession. It has a sound format, clear steps and rules, and only one winner.

Rules are easy. Firstly, you should choose an environment where you spend most part of your life. If you have a busy work life, you should start your hunting from there. You will spend an average of 10 to 12 hours in the office and you’ll often get out with your colleagues, either at corporate parties, either on friendly night-outs.

As I told you, country and sex do not matter. We talk about the same Company, but it’s happening both in Romanian subsidiary and in the small office from the island I’m working now. In the case above, the hunter is a male, but in my nightmare the equivalent of Matt is Cristina. In my case, she was a professional hunter, being in her third big corporation she was working for.

The second rule is to choose a victim and to create a fake image of being buddies. Actually, Cristina failed to do this, which caused lack of credibility in the later stages. We have never been friends!!! In the same time, you keep flirting and you start making the victim fall madly in love with you. Anyway, you should be careful to keep the appearances of being buddies. This second stage is the most important and you should make it as long as possible. The longer it is, more points you score. You can play it simultaneously with more hearts.

Now here comes the most important part. You let it go suddenly and unexpectedly and you start kissing the other. You let the other think that the real love really exists. It doesn’t matter where it happens. It may be in the club, like in the situation above or it can be in my car after driving her home. It doesn’t matter, but it is important to let the other think that this is the beginning of the most beautiful and romantic love ever. Finally, you find a way out, like Cristina’s excuse to go home early to iron a dress that she’ll wear the next day at an imaginary friend’s wedding. I don’t know Matt’s excuse, I was out for a new refill of my glass.

And .... of course, the most enjoyable part comes in the end. It is called like the most recent episode of Prison Break: Bang and burn. Of course, you have to burn the other one’s hart until it is destroyed. Cristina invented an unexpected leave of her best friend in Italy as an excuse of not meeting me. I don’t know how many points did she score as the artistic impression of the lies does matter a lot here and she was not very original.

Of course, you should justify to the others that the relationship was purely buddy to buddy. Matt will probably blame on the booze for the public kiss. He’ll say You know you’re friends... Cristina scored many points, as it happened in one private car, so she has no witnesses. She eventually categorized all our dates as friendly, even nobody could confirm our relationship as friendship (low score, here).

In the end, it doesn’t really matter. They have their stories to tell to other jerks. They are in a big hurry to start the game again and find another victim. They won’t care about your feelings, your hopes, your dreams, your emotional traumas caused by them. They should keep training while they’re still young for the ‘Kiss and leave’ World Cup. Maybe one day, they will be champions. Good luck, Matt, bafta Cristina!


  1. anti-lolita

    ENG/RO? ok..eng

    So, cristina=neprihanita??

    Better play the "Kiss-and-leave" game than "Kiss and be left"...

  2. Amy

    I ended up on your blog by accident - googling "2006 financial statements inventory ...". I stayed for an hour or so. Needless to say, I'm a corporate girl myself...
    Anyway - I'll add your blog on my blogroll - hopt it's fine with you.
    Happy holidays! :)

  3. unique2

    @anti-lolita: Cristina, Neprihanita, whatever, it's not always better to play her game. Adi de la Valcea had a song...
    @Amy: Of course it's fine with me. I read your blog and it is fantastic. You really are a corporate girl and you'll definitely be in my blogroll, too

  4. dracu

    I have just 1 statement:
    shit happens!

    just "keep walking" :)

  5. Crankwhore

    i like white dresses.

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