Sambata, Decembrie 1, 2007, 05:37 AM 

Happy birthday, my dear Romania
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Hi, Romania! Congratulations for your 89th anniversary! 50 days ago I had my anniversary, too. I’m 28 years old now! The difference is that I am a looser, as I said many times before. While you... Well, I do not know what to say...

I guess you were not happy, too, at 28 years old. How could you feel other than miserable in 1946? You know, we gotta have somethin’ in common. We both LOST an important WAR, at the same age, 27. There are similarities in our lives.

We both pretend that our first 23 years were happy. Romania was a name in Europe before the WW2. There were sometimes unpleasant things, like the strike from ’33. I had also my injuries, in my student years. But we pretend we were well, after all.

After my 23rd anniversary, I met her: The SHREW. It was the shrew that you can meet in every corporation, the one that spits flame on the nose. You met also him: The first DICTATOR (Carol II), the one spitting not only flames, but even your future. We both moved on and managed to tame them.

We both had a Hitler in our lives. Your Hitler was powerful, with a short moustache, brown tunic and a red swastika on the sleeve. You wouldn’t recognize my Hitler after clothes, face or constitution. You will rather recognize him after its easiness to sit at the table, couch its head on the right and ask: Mr. Corporatistu, when will you deliver....? Will it be into dead-line agreed as....?

The corporations ruining lives and nerves were present in both of our lives. The episode Every day a little death from Desperate Housewives was a reality in my corporate environment in the last 3 years (Rest In Peace Tim, Laura and Raluca). My nerves were destroyed by an avid for sales Co, a Zoo garden-like Co and a Nazy Co. The red soviet spot also ruined your destiny and destroyed many lives of innocent people.

The licking senior? Does it sound familiar? How can I forget his pathetic flatteries? Once he saw me doing my timesheet in the Excel template. He came from my back and whispered: I can help you with an excel template having all the activity codes in a list cell. But....of course there was a “but”.. he provides it to me only if I give him a document translated by me!!! Well, I guess you know the attitude... maybe it reminds you of the lousy liar Emil Constantinescu . I guess it’s hard to remember how many times he kissed IMF’s asses for some money with a huge interest pay-back.

You experienced some dictators also. Probably the most ferocious was Nicolae Ceausescu . Even my workmates from Africa heard of him. I met also a fucking dictator surnamed by me the smarty from IT. His unique goal was to act as he was the owner of the massive corporation. Obviously, he was nothing, he was just a dickhead destroying the project and resources of the company.

Let’s go to the masters of the baffle gab (limbaj de lemn). I was the unlucky winner of the chance to meet one of the most red tape persons in the world: red tape bookkeeper (contabila contopista). She could not tell a word without opening her white book with accounting records published by the Ministry of Finance in the autumn of 1907. I guess you know better what I say, you were ruled by one master of the baffle gab. I will not mention his name, I will say only that he is also a recent blogger.

We both believed in promises. I was fooled by The Love from Tei (aka ‘CSI’ or Lucy). Not once, countless times. You were fooled not by one, but by 322 unscrupulous citizens that were mocking other 22 millions people. They were ruled by the liar king in person.

Finally, my post is coming to an end, so you know the person I’ll gonna talk about in this paragraph. Let’s say I never that in December I will sit on the shore throwing two stones in the ocean. There were two stones representing two years from my life lost in vain for the sake of the one known as Spotless Girl, la otra or just Christina. I don’t know how many stones should you throw in the Black Sea for all the times you were betrayed. Countless, probably.

I guess that’s all. Sorry that I couldn’t attend the referendum. It is just impossible to go to London (the closest vote section) and come back to the island in the same day. It seems that the corrupt government made sure that there are no alternatives methods of voting (such as e-vote) for the Romanians abroad. They knew that we’ll all vote for their enemies.

Sorry for tragedy that shadowed Romania’s football team qualification at Euro 2008. I am stunned that the station of the communist informer Felix got the tv copyrights for the national football team matches for the next qualifying campaign. I have already spoken with a local satellite provider to have installed a digital service allowing me to watch TF1, ORF and the Serbian TV in order to watch Romania’s football games. Of course, I could never watch that dirty communist television.

Sorry I’m not there with you at your celebration. Let’s hope we will get rid of past if we want to have a future. I was supposed to have a peaceful life, a stable job and two kids (Andre and Christina). You were supposed to be one of the most appreciated countries in Europe whose citizens have no reason to leave it. We have too little. We have almost nothing.

Maybe one day the shadows of the past (smarty from IT, the dictator, Lucy, 322, Christina) won’t hunt us anymore!

Meanwhile, Happy Birthday to you, my beloved country!


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